It is all over the news: temperatures keep getting hotter and hotter. Every year has become the “hottest year on record.” The UN says that we are getting closer to the threshold where we can no longer avoid the effects of climate change. To me, climate change equates to extreme heat and humidity, and all the health concerns that it brings. 

My worry is not so much for myself but for the next generation. For the kids: for my nephews and nieces, the ones who will live with this the most. We do not have that much time left. This is something that a vaccine or staying at home cannot fix. 

Climate change is one of the things that gives me so much anxiety. It reminds me of that one episode of Lizzie Maguire where she was so stressed about wanting to do something and fearing that she was not doing enough. I feel exactly the same way. I do what I can, but I also know that if I had the resources, there is so much more that I can do. I want to do more, and I wish I could. I am not a hypocrite — I know I can do more and it gives me so much guilt that I can’t. 

Some things are just harder to do than others given what I can afford to do: 

• I still buy products that are packaged in single-use plastic. I want to avoid it, but there are no resources in my area for refilling and there are no other alternatives. Even if there were, they are most definitely beyond my budget.  I buy earth-friendly when I can afford it, but it is not as often as I would like to. 
• I eat meat even if people said it would be much better for the environment if we all went vegan. I wish I could do that, but again, this is easier said than done. I’ve tried meat alternatives but they are too expensive for me. 
• I still use the AC and I take too many showers when it is too hot. I would love to buy an environmentally friendly AC when it becomes available but for now, managing the heat for my health is the bigger priority.

Being completely earth-friendly is not as easy as we think for normal people like you and me. It can get expensive to avoid products that are not packaged in single-use plastics. Being educated on climate change and what we can do is not enough and is not as important for people who are worrying about how to afford to pay their bills and their next meal. I believe that it is the responsibility of governments and big businesses to make these earth-friendly options available. If options are there and they are affordable, I believe that people would shift to that because it is attainable and accessible for them. 

There is only so much the general public can do. It is the responsibility of the manufacturers to produce environmentally-friendly ways to sell and distribute their products. Governments should work with these businesses to find ways to be earth-friendly and still keep the economy going.

With everything I see and read about in the news, I cannot help but wonder if what we are all doing is too little too late. If we have already started the clock on our impending doom with climate change. 

People have said that these effects will become irreversible by 2030. That is just nine years from now. That scares me so much. I wish that world governments and big businesses will stop thinking about the bottom line and start thinking of how to save the planet before it is too late. After all, what is all that money going to be for if we will all no longer be around because we ignored the signs? 

I am keeping my fingers crossed and hoping that the time we have left will be enough to save ourselves. I hope we can all turn things around. 

White hat. Gladiators. Command. These are the words that come to mind when the TV show Scandal starring Kerry Washington is mentioned to me. I remember being a fan of this show when it was on TV, and I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was available to stream on Disney+.

Scandal started in 2012 and lasted for seven seasons. It is a political drama that centers around Olivia Pope, the owner of the crisis management firm Olivia Pope & Associates in Washington DC. For the seven seasons, the show tackles Olivia’s relationship with the White House and the people in it. 

According to material meant to promote the show, the character of Olivia Pope is based on someone named Judy Smith, who was also involved with the White House and later transitioned to having her own crisis management firm. The character was probably only inspired by her career, but I doubt if what she does goes to the extremes that Olivia Pope has done.

Rewatching the show made me look back on how extreme some of the things that happened in the show have been. The things that went on truly followed through with the name of the show. Some may seem impossible, but these days, who knows? Some of the things there could have happened somewhere.

What was a bit surprising for me was just how much sex was involved in the show. I don’t know if my brain forgot all about it or if it is because I am now older, but I suddenly feel like there is too much sex going on in that show than what was necessary. Have I gotten more conservative with age or did my brain just glaze over them because of the story back then? I’m not sure. I have no other words for what I feel about those scenes these days than this Tagalog term: nakaka-umay. It doesn’t quite feel as bad when said in English since it is usually translated to being sick of something but that’s the closest word I can think of.

The storylines on this show may get crazy at times (and the last couple of seasons weren’t their best, let’s leave it at that) but I must commend them for the great writing, especially when it comes to lines from Olivia and her father, Eli. If there is anything that I took away from that show it was that these two could have been spectacular motivational speakers if they didn’t involve themselves in all that quest for power. It’s not just about the lines themselves, but it is about the way these actors deliver them. There is no way you’d be convinced otherwise when they’re the ones saying things to you. That’s how good and how impactful the things they say on the show are.

There are so many lines from the show that I can’t forget from both Eli and Olivia Pope. With Olivia, it’s mostly lines that show how confident she is about who she is and what she wants in her life. That strength of character and drive is something that I liked about her. Her toxic taste in men (maybe from daddy issues?) I could live without.  With Eli (also known as Rowan in the show), I love his lines where he shows that not only does he have power, but that HE IS POWER. The things he says scream power without him directly saying it. The fact that Joe Morton is creepy good as Eli makes hearing these lines gives it even more intensity.

Here are some of the lines the Popes (I made them sound like some folk group, sorry Shonda Rhimes) have said on the show that I loved:

Olivia

You are a gladiator. Gladiators don’t run, they fight, they slay dragons, they wipe off the blood, they stitch up their wounds, and they live to fight another day. 

It’s handled.

I am very good at what I do. I am better at it than anyone else. And that is not arrogance, that is a fact.

I don’t want normal, and easy, and simple. I want painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing, extraordinary love.

Eli

You are a warrior — never reckless, never naive. Too smart to let fear drive you. Precise, quiet, calculating, you will wait for the right time, you will look at all the possible outcomes, you will understand what needs to be done.

Olivia, you’re getting on that plane come hell or high water. And to be clear, *I* am the hell and the high water.

You can’t take command. Command takes you.

You don’t have to like me Olivia, but you are a fool if you don’t learn from me.

It was nice to look back on the show one more time (probably one last time, it’s way too long to re-watch again). I almost forgot that there was a cross-over between this show and another Shonda Rhimes series called How to Get Away With Murder near the end of the series. I loved seeing Kerry Washington and Viola Davis together. Powerful stuff.

I love seeing strong female characters on TV and in the movies. I hope that I can see more of them in the future. 

On one of the off-season episodes of the Fandesals Podcast (episode embedded below), my co-host Judith shared her book lover origin story. As someone who loves to read books myself, I thought it would be great to share my journey with books. I hope people can relate to it and remind them of their book-lover stories too. 

It was my parents who started my love for books. I remember growing up with shelves of children’s books that they encouraged me to read: Disney books, Dr. Seuss, Alice in Wonderland, and Winnie the Pooh. I regret not being able to keep those books when we moved because they were significant parts of my childhood.

In elementary school and high school, I discovered other genres: I discovered mysteries with Nancy Drew books and teen/love stories with Sweet Dreams and Sweet Valley High stories. But this was also the time that my father introduced me to fantasy books. I remember first reading The Hobbit around this time. I loved it! This was the time when I started to fall in love with writing as well. All the books I have read sparked my imagination and I began to create stories of my own, about worlds and people I have created in my head.

As I got older, I started to veer towards the romance genre and chick lit, mostly from Meg Cabot, Sophie Kinsella, and Cecelia Ahern. I also got into more fantasy and young adult books from writers such as Melissa Dela Cruz. I particularly loved reading books that mixed real-world characters with a fantasy world. I cannot explain why, but that form of escapism is something that I enjoyed reading about. 

During a significant health scare years back, I started reading inspirational books like The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. More recently, because of the stress brought on by the pandemic, I have been into more books that are in the self-help category. Things that deal a bit with psychology, spirituality, and philosophy. Books about positive thinking and the power of the mind and all that.

Lately, I have been in a bit of a book-reading slump. Reading has been a struggle for me. I start but hardly finish. Sometimes if I start and finish, it either takes me a long time to do so or it takes me a while between books. Considering the number of books I used to read in a year, it feels odd to only finish books I can count with one hand in a year. I miss reading as much as I used to, but I cannot force myself to go back to my old pace. I feel like if I did that, I would start to hate reading and I do not want that to happen. I am taking things one book at a time. Hopefully one day I will get my groove back.

One way I am trying to get back into my book-loving life is to blog about it. I hope by writing about the books I read on this blog I can get back to figuring out what I have loved about reading books in the first place. 

For now, I am also trying to draft books of my own. I have ideas and outlines that I have compiled through the years that I have yet to write out in full. I do not have a fixed genre of books. Right now, the outlines are a mix of romance, historical fiction, thriller, and fantasy genres. I have been trying to get into books of similar genres to get an idea of how to write down my books and I am hoping to get something finished soon. I know I have been saying that for years, but I am keeping my fingers crossed that I get things done this time around. 

Books have been a part of my life since childhood, and I feel that they will be a part of my life for a long time. I have gone from physical reading to e-books and audiobooks, exploring various genres and becoming a fan of certain writers and series as I go along. This is a love I will never get tired of, no matter how many reading slumps I go into. 

I hope more people can get into reading and loving the experience of the written (or spoken, as with audiobooks) word. There is so much to discover, learn and imagine. Books are amazing. We need more people to understand that!

One thing that most people who have been around me know is that I’m a planner. I’m the type of person who hates doing things on a whim. I’ll think about something a dozen times before actually doing it. I tend to steer clear of the unexpected and I’m not the type of person who does things spontaneous or unplanned. My tendency is to stay in my comfort zone because that is where I’m sure that I can manage all the variables involved. I am not particularly good at dealing with change, which is why I feel that fate has decided to do something to make me face it once and for all. 

The tail-end of the year brought several “plot twists” in my life that made me realize that, as cliche as it sounds, “change is coming.” There is not much choice left for me except that I have to face it and decide whether to deal with it in a positive or negative light. I’m erring on the side of the former at this point because honestly, what good would it do to dwell on the negatives right? Life is too short to focus on things that do not make me happy. I just need to move forward and see where life will take me, as uncertain as it can be.

I think this year’s theme for me would have be “Change.” I see these changes moving me to make the effort to become closer to God and to give more time to my faith than I usually do. I see it pushing me toward my creative side, a part of me that I’ve neglected for many years. These changes are also forcing me to pay attention to my health and well-being more than I ever have before.

In terms of my blog life, I had to restart my blog all over again because – surprise! – my age has finally caught up with me: I had a major senior moment and lost the passwords to my previous blog(s)…if I wanted to blog again I would have to start fresh, which is exactly what I am doing now. To people who think it’s too much of a hassle to write all your passwords down take it from me, you need to do it!

There are also major changes happening on the work front. A change in the way things have been done through the years will happen very soon. I have had several opportunities to make a change career-wise over the past few years but I’ve never taken the risk of shifting careers because of the comfort zone thing. This time around the change will be something that I have no choice over. All I can do now is decide if I will take the leap of faith into something similar but new or brave it out on a totally new world on my own. Definitely no option to stay in my comfort zone here so I will have to make that decision before the year ends.

Another change that I’m dealing with right now is about dealing with the past. Don’t get me wrong, there’s no drama here…it’s just that in my family I’ve been the sort of “record keeper:” I’m the one who takes and keeps photos of every occasion through the years. I used to be the one you can count on to have a complete file of photos and memories from the past 18 years on my laptop.

I recently bought a new external hard drive to store them but as (bad) luck would have it, the drive stopped working after less than a week. I’ve consulted several technicians on it and all have said that my data – 18 years’ worth of photos and videos of family and friends, memories I’ve kept close to my heart – can no longer be recovered. My father passed away 8 years ago and it breaks my heart to think that all the memories of my father that I’ve kept in that drive are now lost forever. Even my writing projects – stories I’ve drafted that I was about to finalize – are all lost. I felt like a part of my life was ripped away from me and I couldn’t do anything about it.

I guess that loss might be life trying to tell me to stop looking back into the past and to start looking forward to the future. After all, there are new memories to be made and there is so much more life to be lived. 

This year will definitely be a change in the way I have lived my life over the past few years. Hopefully, I can document it here in my blog (where this time around, passwords have been written down and saved) so I don’t lose anything anymore.

So here I am, embracing change and taking you all on that journey with me. I hope you will all enjoy the ride as much as I will (fingers crossed)! 

My name is Clare. I am a writer and a podcaster, and I work as an Administrative Manager for a water utility company. I am from a (somewhat rural) province in the Philippines.

The online name Clare Henney is something I have been using as a blogger for a while now. It is a  combination of my name with that of my favorite actor Daniel Henney. It’s been the name that I’ve used to share my interests with anyone who would be willing to read about them on my blog. 

When I first started as a blogger, I was writing more about and reflecting on my life experiences — not that I had that many since I was still young at the time. I then moved on to write about my interests, which were mostly pop culture-related. I wrote about books, movies, TV, and music. I also wrote reviews of places I’ve traveled to, food I have tried, and products I have used. As someone who works in the water industry, I have also written often about my concern for the environment.

While most (if not all) of the people I used to blog with have stopped or have moved on to other forms of content creation, I have stayed on as a blogger, although I have not taken it as seriously as most people probably expect me to. Writing is something that I enjoy doing and blogging is a means for me to put it out there, hoping that someone out there somewhere can relate to and enjoy reading whatever it is that I can share. It’s also a way for me to “practice” my writing since I am attempting to write a book or two that I hope to self-publish in the near future.

If you have been following me for a while, you’d notice that I have removed my older entries from this blog. I wanted to start fresh because I felt that the entries I have in mind were too different from the ones I have written in the (recent) past. 

I guess you can say I’ve decided on a bit of a redirection: I will still mention my interests, but I think I will be writing more in the way that I used to when I first started. Hopefully, my personal reflections would be something that interests you. In these interconnected times, I hope that I can share stories that you could learn from, relate to, or entertain you from whatever part of the world you may be in.

Thank you for stopping by!

Here’s the thing about me and writing: people seem to think that it’s easy, that it just flows out naturally when a lot of times, it’s not. Yes, there are moments when you get that moment of inspiration and you can write on and on and it will just keep going but for the most part, if it’s not part of your creative process or if you are not moved to do so, you don’t. You’re stumped. You have writer’s block and there isn’t anything you can do about it. That has been my problem for the past few weeks. I’ve been wanting to blog, and I’ve been meaning to, but the words just would not come out.

When I write about things that I am interested in, it can be easy to write. Will it be good? Maybe, maybe not…but it will not be a struggle (OK, maybe a little). But if I’m writing for work, if it’s about something technical or for business, I can get stumped. Maybe because it’s not really something I enjoy doing (even if I have to), maybe it’s because there is too much pressure placed on me by people who expect that I can do a quick and easy job of these things.

One thing that I’ve discovered that helps with writer’s block, especially when I am under time pressure, is sound. It could be music, it could be specific sounds that can help me relax and focus. I’ve once worked on documents for work that would have made me cry to finish if not for me listening to the soundtrack of Hamilton while I was working. Recently I’ve discovered several apps on Google Play that have helped me to get into a calm enough mood to write. While music helps, sometimes hearing songs and lyrics distracts me so I decided to give these sound apps a try:

Relax Rain – It has ads, but it doesn’t interrupt the listening experience unless you are changing sounds while you listen. You can pay P50.00 for the premium version that starts the app with your chosen sound and a sound menu list. Otherwise, you can keep it free and let it randomly select sounds once you open the app. You then have options to play a relaxing piano sound along with lightning sounds to each rain sound selection you can pick via arrows at the bottom of the screen. Each sound – the rain, lightning,, and piano – has different volume controls so you can have the right combination of sounds you prefer.

Among the sound setups you can use are (all self-explanatory, really): Under the Tree, Thunderstorm in the Countryside, Rainy Night with Crickets, Tropical Storm, Rain in the Backyard, Thunderstorm, Rain on The Tin Roof, Under the Umbrella, Puddles in the Country, Rain on Window, Hailstorm, Rain in the Gutter, Distant Storm, Light Rain at Night, Lodge in the Rainforest, Light Rain on the Windshield, Rain on Leaves, Light Rain in the Backyard, Heavy Rain on the Windshield, Tent in the Rain, Dripping Water, Tent in the Thunderstorm, Wind, and Rain, Inside the Car, Rain in the City, Inside the Motor Home, Rain on the Car Roof, Inside the Farmhouse, Morning Rain, Rain on the Skylight, Rain in the Forest, Rain on the Street, Strong Thunderstorm, Thunder and Music, Rain in the Park and Bungalow in the Rainforest. You can also select a time for the sounds so that it will stay on for as long as you want as you don’t remove it from your screen display.

Nature Sounds – With this app you have the following sound options: Relaxing Ocean, Calming Field, Summer Forest, Waterfall, Mountain Forest, Windy Mountains. Evening Lake, Rain on Grass, Perfect Rain, Rain on Window, Thunderstorm, Calm Night, Warm Camp Fire. The app allows you to modify the number of sounds for each theme. You can select music (piano, flute, chimes, cymbals), nature (fire, wind, stream, rain on leaves, rain, thunder, lightning), animals (birds, frogs, wolf). You can also set a timer for up to 8 hours to play the app. It’s a free app so be prepared for ads at the bottom of the screen. Unfortunately, you can’t use the app if you plan to use other apps on your phone or tablet because the sounds stop once you remove it from your screen. If you want it premium you would have to pay P43.00.

Rain Sounds – This app is probably from the same company that made nature sounds because the setup is the same. The only difference is with the selections of sounds: Perfect Storm, Rain on Window, Rain on Leaves, Light Rain, Evening Lake, Rain on Roof, Rain on Sidewalk, Calm Beach, Peaceful Water, Rain on Tent, Ocean Rain, Rainy Evening and Thunderstorm. There are more options for music and nature sounds with this app, but it also has limited animal sound options. The premium version of this app costs P49.99.

Just Rain –  My little nephew loves this app. It is exactly what it is called: just rain. You open the app and your screen has a visual of rainfall, which you can adjust to make it harder or softer and can be directed from left to right depending on your preference. My nephew loves playing with the app and adjusting the settings until he finds the right type of rain he wants to see. It can feel a little calming just to look at it when it is a little on the soft side. There are additional features for this app that you can buy for P52.00 but I think I like it just the way it is.

Sleepo – The app has a selection of themes you can choose from (Rain and Water, Nature and Forest, City and Household, Relax and Meditation), along with variables you can adjust to create the right combination of sound you prefer. Unlike most of the other sound apps, this will continue to play even if you remove it from your main display. It is also the most expensive to get as a premium app at P110.00.

Natural Fireplace – As the name of the app implies, it shows a natural fireplace effect on the screen of your phone or tablet and has the sound of a slow fire burning along with it. It has a built-in timer, but it has no other controls. Even if you close the app once you’ve opened it, the sound for the fireplace is still there, which makes the app a little difficult to close.

I think we all have our different ways of unwinding and relaxing and sometimes we try various things to see what works. These sound apps help me sometimes, but I can’t say that it is 100% effective all the time. Sometimes I put on a playlist from Spotify and that helps too. There are also other times when complete silence does the trick. It’s really up to you and what mood you’re in along with what you need to do. If any of these apps sound appealing, let me know if you give them a try – or if you’ve found something else that might be better, do share!

*Screen Captures from Google Play

One of the shows I used to watch on TV that I recently found available on Disney+ was the supernatural show called Sleepy Hollow. It’s a story that is loosely based on the short story of the same name and is set in modern times. In the show, the main character of the story, Ichabod Crane, died after killing/chopping off the head of a soldier in the war and woke up from his grave in Sleepy Hollow in the present time, where the soldier he killed became the headless horseman and the Horseman of Death.

The show lasted only four seasons, with the last season oddly set outside of Sleepy Hollow and without one of its main/lead characters, who was killed off in the previous season. For the most part, the show was about Ichabod Crane and Detective (and future FBI agent) Abby Mills fighting supernatural beings who want to bring the end of days into the world, all while discovering that certain historical figures from the time of George Washington had known about this and had been fighting off the same in their time. 

As a supernatural show, I was expecting it to be scary, especially since it was loosely based on the Sleepy Hollow story and the movie about this that starred Johnny Depp was dark and creepy. I was surprised that despite the end of the world and supernatural creatures elements of the show, it was a bit on the light side and at times even funny. If anything else, it was more a fantasy show than it was a scary one. And speaking of that fantasy element, the effects were not exactly that impressive now that I had the chance to look back on it years later. Then again, it may be because special effects for shows like that are better these days than in the past. Technology has improved so much so I suppose I cannot blame them for not having much back then. 

My favorite character on the show would have to be Ichabod Crane. Tom Mison is so enjoyable to watch in this role. I love how funny he can be as the man out of time who has to adjust to the times but still maintains certain things from the past (including his wardrobe). Ichabod has so many characteristics that I loved seeing such as his charm, his wit, his sense of humor and his bravery, and the fact that he is full of hope compared to the other characters in the show. If there is one thing I miss about this show it would be this guy. Whenever I think of Ichabod Crane it is Tom Mison’s portrayal that comes to mind, complete with the bow he gives when he says goodbye. I wish I could see him in more shows but I think he does theater more than he does movies or series these days. 

To be fair, Nicole Beharie, who plays Abby Mills, also does a great job as the other lead in the show. She can match up with Tom Mison in their scenes together. They make such a good team in the series. I just wish she could have finished the last season with everyone else because I felt that it all went downhill in season 4. 

One of my favorite parts about re-watching this show is their crossover with another series that I liked, Bones. It was funny to see how the characters in a non-supernatural show would fit into this fantasy world that Crane and Mills had. I thought it wouldn’t work. The Sleepy Hollow leads were also in a crossover episode in Bones but there were no supernatural elements to it so it was not as exciting as it was amusing to see them there. But with this crossover in Sleepy Hollow, it was revealed that Booth had a supernatural connection of sorts because of his ancestor and that he knew Mills’ mentor, who had passed on the knowledge of the supernatural to her. That was a nice touch to bring the shows together. 

As much as I enjoyed watching the show again, I don’t think I will do so for a third time. It only had four seasons but I felt that it was not as good as I remembered it. Bones was still more fun to re-watch because it did not feel like a chore to watch all 12 seasons as it was with Sleepy Hollow. It was fun to see Tom Mison as Ichabod Crane again, but I don’t see myself doing it again. 

A successful woman on the top of her game is diagnosed with cancer. Life expectancy is low. What do you do when you know you are going to die? For Vivian (Vilma Santos), the lead in the Filipino movie Everything About Her that is streaming on Netflix, it meant facing her disease head-on while continuing to kill it (pun intended) in the real estate industry. She hires a nurse named Jaica (Angel Locsin), who not only helps her with her illness but also teaches her a thing or two about living a better, more fulfilled life. 

One thing that I miss about the pre-pandemic life is visiting coffee shops and just enjoying the coffee and ambiance with my family and friends. As much as I love coffee, it is not just about the coffee, but about the social experience too. 

There is a local café that my family and I often went to pre-pandemic that recently made an adjustment to the pandemic life, and for that, I am incredibly grateful. They have created a website where you can order coffee and non-coffee drinks as well as other food that we used to enjoy when we used to visit their physical store. I love that you can order and pay online, which means that when the items are delivered there is no exchange of cash. I have heard that cash is one of those things that can spread the COVID 19 virus so not needing to pay via cash is a good thing for me. 

Brainstorms and Brews has recently become my go-to café since it is very convenient to order and pay for their products. They are also very easy to talk to: I remember a moment when we were wondering why there was no option for pearls on their website and when I messaged them, it only took them five minutes to put it on the site so that we could make our order. How amazing is that?

Being new with the online orders and delivery process, I think that they are still on a learning curve. There was one time that the delivery guy forgot our straws (I know, I know, straws are bad for the environment, but we don’t have reusable ones at home at the moment), when we messaged the café, the delivery guy came back to give us the straws. There was also a time when the drinks with and without pearls got mixed up. We messaged them about it and the next time we ordered everything was right and we got a free cookie from them too. I can’t really blame them for mixing things up at this point since they’re new to this kind of thing, but I am looking forward to the shop learning from this and improving their service further.

About that cookie…it is such a good cookie! Their Gooey Cookie is a bit on the large side and can be shared if you are not too much into desserts. The chocolate melts in your mouth and it is not too sweet despite all the chocolate.

My family and I have ordered several times from Brainstorms and we have all developed our favorites after trying different flavors every time we order. My brother in law loves their Butterball Frappe. My nephew is a fan of their Cookies and Cream frappe. My sister enjoys their espresso-based drinks on ice. My other nephew and niece love switching up between their coffee and non-coffee frappes. Personally, I love their signature coffee, but I am a little disappointed that it only comes in one size. I would love to order them in large, but they only serve in medium! The same goes for their lemonade!

The café offers food items (mostly sandwiches and waffles) and desserts (cookies, brownies, and cheesecakes), but I really think that in terms of this category they need to improve on their selection. I wish there were more they could offer. We are also missing the Berry Drink that they used to have with yogurt, it used to be one of our favorites, but they have removed it from their menu. Please bring it back! 

Once this pandemic is over, I would love to visit this café again to have coffee there like we used to. It would be nice to be back once this is all over!

The month of May is Mental Health Awareness month. It is the time where people raise awareness about mental health and mental health issues. It’s the time where several groups try to help erase the stigma of having mental health problems so that help can be given to the people who need it the most.  

I’m glad that there is such a month for raising awareness for mental health because there are so many people who can benefit from the knowledge that could help others and, more often than not, themselves. 

While there are already several existing groups who advocate for this issue, I think that worldwide there is still a long way to go when it comes to how we view mental health problems. The stereotype that people who suffer from mental illness are of the straight jacket-wearing, institutionalized, and to-be-sedated variety because they are “crazy” is still alive and well. The amount of those aware is still widely outnumbered by the ones who are uneducated about this. 

There are so many who suffer from mental health problems who suffer alone and in silence because of these stereotypes. People think that people with these problems are weak or broken but in reality, so many of them are stronger than what we think. Can you imagine being able to do things like going to work or school and taking care of various responsibilities despite issues that weigh them down emotionally and mentally? All this they do without showing others that they have problems. They put on a brave face because there are still so many who don’t understand what mental health issues are about/ There is still a problem with acceptance and support from others which is why many people tend to deal with their problems on their own, without going to the doctor and getting the help they need. 

Full disclosure, I have had (or still have, actually) my own share of issues. There was a time when I was cutting myself, and there were one or two times when I attempted to take my life (but was, obviously, not successful). It came to the point where my doctor had prescribed anti-depressants, although I made the choice to stop taking them and to try alternative methods to feel better. Meditation helps. Talking to people willing to listen and provide support, which I have been blessed enough to have, makes a big difference. I don’t think I would still be alive without the people who were there for me during my lowest and darkest moments.Things are not always perfect: there are still days when I feel like I cannot go on, days when even one simple task feels difficult because of how I feel, moments when everything feels impossible and nothing will ever go right. Moments when even the most light-hearted or well-intentioned comment can make me question myself and my worth. Sometimes the anxiety I feel can be too much that I don’t want to leave the comfort of my room because it can cause me to panic and become too dizzy to even stand.People might misinterpret people with mental health issues as being overdramatic or someone making excuses to get away from responsibility, which has happened to me at work. It’s so hard to explain that there are days when what I feel can be too much for me to properly function. There are days when dealing with it daily can be so exhausting that I find myself envying people who have passed away because they are finally able to rest. Don’t get me wrong, I love life and I love being alive and being surrounded by the people I love. I have my good days too. It’s just that some days, what I feel can go beyond my control and things can be difficult.

For the most part, I power through what I feel, but it is so challenging that most of the time I feel exhausted at the end of the day. Some days are easier than others and for that I am grateful. I don’t know if what I feel will ever go away. But with the help of friends and family who are there for me, I am doing fairly well. Being honest about what I have been going through with my family has also made a big difference and has resulted in me getting the support I need. I know some would say that people with issues like me probably lack enough faith in God. It’s not about that. Mental health issues are types of illness… just like the various types of physical illness we experience. It’s something that needs to be addressed and treated. Yes, prayer helps, but just like any physical disease, it needs the right approach and treatment. 

It’s a good thing that the country now has a Mental Health Law which can provide affordable mental health services to Filipinos. I think this is a step in the right direction in providing people who need help and the opportunity to heal. I hope that people can be made aware of this and can be encouraged to take advantage of this law to get the help they need. It’s hard enough to find doctors to help, it is also expensive to get help and pay for the medicine and/or therapy needed. I really hope that this law can help a lot of people and can make others aware of how we can help those who need our support. It may seem as simple as talking to someone and telling them that it’ll be OK, but it’s not always that way. Knowing how to approach a person to help, knowing, and being aware that there is a right approach, would mean a lot to those who need it the most. 

I hope that the step in the right direction with the Mental Health Law and the awareness that is being promoted by occasions such as this can be the way that many who suffer from mental health problems will be able to find solutions to help them to feel better.