What Kind of Love Do You Want? | Clare

I’m a big fan of the TV show Scandal. Apart from the political issues that they present on the show, I love the fact that you never know what’s going to happen. By the time you think you’ve figured it out the writers take everything in a totally different direction that you didn’t expect. There are a lot of “a-ha” moments as the show goes along: things from past episodes that seemed insignificant that start making sense in newer episodes. Kudos to the writers for that.

Like any normal girl, I also love the romantic aspect of the series. The forbidden love between President Grant and Olivia Pope has me on highs and lows depending on where their relationship goes. I think their story is sad but considering they are/were in an adulterous relationship, I think everyone knows that is a sinking ship from the very beginning. I’d love to see Olivia be with a guy who can commit to her and be there for her, not someone as unstable as Fitz is.

Olivia: I want painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing, extraordinary love. Don’t you want that, too?
Edison: Love is not supposed to be painful or devastating. Love isn’t supposed to hurt, Liv.

(Scandal, Season 2 Episode 13 “Nobody Likes Babies”)

That line from the show stuck with me. I agree partly with Olivia and partly with Edison. I think that love should be extraordinary and life-changing but I also agree that it should not be painful or devastating. Love isn’t supposed to hurt. I think the problem with us girls is we often feel the need to “fix” things so we think that love is about pain, difficulty, you-and-me-against-the-world and all that. I blame movies and TV for that. I can blame our natural female tendency to want to take care of people too.

That is what I blame for some of my failed relationships (not that they were many, that is): the misconception that things have to be complicated and difficult for it to be love. It was only when I had a relationship devoid of any of that that I learned that love isn’t supposed to be that way. It’s actually pretty good when it works. It didn’t work out that time around but at least now I know the kind of love that I really want.

You have nothing. You have a pile of secrets and lies, and you’re calling it love. And in the meantime you’re letting your whole life pass you by while they raise children and celebrate anniversaries and grow old together. You’re frozen in time. You’re holding your breath. You’re a statue waiting for something that’s never going to happen. Living for stolen moments in hotel hallways and coat closets and you keep telling yourself they all add up to something real because in your mind they have to but they don’t. They won’t. They never will. Because stolen moments aren’t a life. So you have nothing. You have no one. End it now.

(Scandal, Season 2 Episode 14 “Boom Goes the Dynamite”)

I’ve never experienced being the “third party” in a relationship but I can relate to this amazing script from the show. I was in a relationship with a guy who prioritized his personal interests more than he did me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the kind of girlfriend who wants to spend all my time with the guy. I’m not clingy in that way. I’m the type who would fully support the person I love and the things he wants to do with his life but I’d appreciate a little time, you know what I mean?

I felt the way the lines here described, the feeling that our times together were stolen moments. I have to admit I was partly to blame because sometimes I couldn’t make the effort to come see him either (being that I live in the province and he was in the city). It came to a point that I felt that I didn’t deserve that and neither did he. That was that.

I believe that if we were truly meant for each other, no matter how busy, our time would not be limited to stolen moments. If we were meant for each other and if we really wanted to, I believe we could have worked it out. I learned from that relationship a lot. Truth be told, that made me promise to myself that when I find the right person for me, I would make the effort that I didn’t with this guy. I believe the right person would be the same way for me too.

Lesson learned from the show (and from life)? Love doesn’t have to be complicated. Even if things feel like they are, if it’s really love you can make it work.

But back to Scandal, I love the new development (and the actor they hired for it) – a love triangle! OK I admit that Scott Foley was creepy at first with the surveillance and all that but I sense that his character is falling for Olivia already because he actually hid the fact that he went on a date with her when Fitz asked him. I’m looking forward to how things will go from here.

I love Olivia. She’s amazing at what she does. She’s brave, confident and she’s smart (and I love her outfits). In spite of all that, she wears her heart on her sleeve and would do anything for the people she cares about (now that part I can totally relate to). Her only flaw: she’s just not so smart in the love and relationships department. I hope she works that part out.

Anyone else out there who are fans of the show? What do you think of this new guy in Olivia’s life? And what do you think of her definition of love and that whole “end it” monologue? Leave me a message! I’d love to meet other Scandal fans!

Photo Source: Bustle