Clare Henney: Me vs Eyebrows

12:00 PM | | Posted by Clare Henney

My superior has eyebrows.

No, wait.  Let me rephrase that:  My superior has penciled-in eyebrows.  Too penciled in for her own good.  I want to run through her brow line off with facial wipes.  Every single time I have to look at her I have to mentally concentrate on a serious topic to stop me from staring at her eyebrows.  Think Austin Powers in Gold Member when he had that mole dilemma, only I still manage enough self-control not to say or do anything obvious.

Half a day to go.  All I can think of here in my little corner of the office are ideas on how to subtly tell my superior that darkly penciled brows are never going to be good to look at — unless you are really going for the Frieda Kahlo look.  Dark brows that don’t even slightly match your hair color on a barely powdered and pale face does not a stylish look make, especially for someone gunning to be the head honcho of a small corporation.

Those eyebrows are driving me crazy — it’s like they were penciled in with eyeliner and not a brow pencil.  I think that makeup manufacturers should make a clear distinction between the two so that people won’t make a mistake on where to use them. 

My goodness, every time I look at them I see something new.  Reminds me of how people tend to picture all sorts of shapes and figures when they stare up at the clouds.  Right now they seem like two chocolate hills.  This morning they looked like the top arches of the McDonald’s logo.  I feel bad about thinking this way but I just can’t help it.

I think we need a seminar on the proper application of makeup here at the office.  If people are going to put on makeup, they have to at least do it right or not do it at all.