Clare Henney: Bittersweet

Six years ago my family moved to this house that we live in today. We have been in Cavite longer than that but this was the first time we were moving into our own home in the province. After years of living in the area we finally sold our house in Las Pinas and planted roots here by buying our own home.

It was during this move that we met one of our young neighbors who, for some reason, we ended up taking under our wing. I don’t know how it happened exactly; I just know that it did. At first he was just spending a lot of time in our place until later on, he ended up joining our family during days out and eventually moving into our home. He became part of the family and we all considered him that way.

I know that a lot of family and friends were a little worried about us taking him in.  They may not have said anything but I could feel their hesitation.  For me and my family however, it just felt like the right thing to do. Besides, he fit right in.  He was a little shy at first but after a while, it was like he was part of the family all along.

At first, we tried to help him out by helping him get back to school.  We found out that he did not finish grade school and we tried to get him to take a qualifying exam to see where he should start over again.  He declined though. I could see where he was coming from and understood.  I would be hesitant at that age to go back too.

In the six years that he has been a part of our family we have seen him grow and mature from a boy into a young man.  Like any family we teased him whenever he had a girl he was interested in (or when a girl showed interest in him as well).  We nagged him about having to think about his future and what he wanted to do with his life and shared meals with him like any family would.  We all laugh when we see how different he looks now from when we first met him.  He has really grown up a lot since then.

Early last month, our “bunso” (which means youngest in Tagalog), finally spread his wings and took on a job to work construction in the Middle East. It is his first real job and his first to spend that long a time away from home (both ours and his real family’s home).

I am so proud of him for taking this step considering that he is now in his early 20s and he has no job here to speak of. He did odd jobs and errands here and there but that is not something he can build a future on. This guy hasn’t even finished grade school so to take a leap of faith like this for his future to me is commendable. My sisters and I were such saps crying like crazy when he took the time to see us in the morning of his flight to the Middle East just so he could say goodbye.  I was on my way to work when he came over to say goodbye and I literally had to walk off in a hurry because I was starting to cry.  I didn’t want him to feel sad about leaving because this is a good thing for him and my family and I want nothing but the best for his future.

If my father were alive today I’m sure he would be happy to see how much he has grown and how he has taken on the responsibility of working abroad for his future and that of his family.  I know my father had his worries and his doubts but I’m sure like any father he was only thinking of where he would end up in the future.  I bet he’s happy to see that he finally took that step to work and be a grown-up.

It’s now been almost a month since he left.  We’ve received text messages and phone calls from him since the day he left the country and sometimes it still makes me sad when I hear that he is feeling very sad and homesick there.  I can’t imagine having to work away from everything and everyone you know as my first-ever job.  It must really feel overwhelming.

Seeing him go was bittersweet.  We are all very happy for him but at the same time we are all sad that he’s not around anymore. He’s going to be away for two years and all I can do now is pray that he will always be safe from harm and that he will stay healthy while he’s out there.  I hope that he will grow into a better person with his experience there and that he can save up for his future.

I hope that after a while, the homesickness will go away.  (To the friends who work away from their families for long periods of time, does it ever go away?)  This is a good opportunity for him considering that he can never get a job here that pays as well as that job in the Middle East given his educational background.  I hope that he takes it seriously and uses it to create even better opportunities for his future.  As an older sister to him, I can only hope and pray for all of that for him. Two years before he comes back.  Till then, his family — both biological and otherwise — will be waiting and praying for him and wishing him well.