Attention vs. Affection | Clare

I learned several years ago never to mistake attention for affection. — John Mayer, on Twitter

Couldn’t agree with him more. I’ve been on opposite sides of this kind of story before.

Sometimes you give attention merely because you have the time to do so.

Sometimes you give attention because you don’t want to be rude and turn away the person who needs it.

But sometimes, when you are the one receiving the attention, you tend to mistake it for affection because you know in your mind that is what you want or hope for it to be, even if that was not the intention of the person giving such attention.

I’ve had my fair share of embarrassing, heartbreaking and annoying experiences when it comes to things like this, from both sides of this kind of story. If there’s one thing I learned, especially in dealing with the opposite sex, it’s to avoid mistaking attention for affection and for my attention not to be mistaken for affection when it is not the case.

It may sound silly but for me, a guy can’t just “show” me that he likes me. He has to say it too. Without it, all his attention for me would merely be just that — attention. More friendly than anything else. In the same way, unless I tell a guy that I like him, he can’t and should not assume that I do because I’m the type who will be straight to a person about these things. If need be, I will drop from the radar or clearly draw a line with my actions if I sense that a guy is assuming these things.

I’m too old to play games. I’m guessing John Mayer feels the same way too.

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